When in Rome...
No, I haven't gotten an awesome trip to Rome, nor do I get to plan one anytime soon. However, I have been gone from my blog in over a year, and I feel that I owe it an explanation (even though my readers have long since moved on). Yes, my subconscious thinks of this blog as a good friend that's been ignored too long - I was reminded of how much I missed it as I taught my 13 year old how to blog for a Scouting assignment yesterday.
I guess it all started about a year ago...
A good friend of mine had gone back to working. She was my muse, my main connection to the publishing world, since I saw her in person at lunch once a week (usually at my house, per kids), and I was lonely without her. My book was floundering and I was tired of editing what was a good, but not exceptional, novel.
On top of that, I was in the familiar position of not having as much money as I wanted. Despite the scripture telling me otherwise ("Be content with what you have, for He has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you..."), we have the unfortunate habit of spending everything we have and only saving for our 401k. About that time, I was offered a job at our virtual school, which I took since it was part time and from home. Also, after not working for 12 years, it was very exciting and gave me a feeling of accomplishment to make it through the interview.
I really liked many parts of this job. Suddenly we had enough money. For real. I thought it would never happen, but we paid off our credit card debt and paid for a vacation - a real one with a suite, put-put golf, and fireworks for New Year's. I paid for the older kids to go to camp this summer (something mommy guilt had always told me we ought to be able to afford, but couldn't). I used some of the money to buy new work clothes for the few times we'd get together.
My team at work consisted of some of the nicest women on the planet, and gave me a sense of community that I missed. They were all homeschooling moms like me, many with similar challenges of raising kids with special needs.
When I called new families for the school, I was happy to hear all of the ways in which homeschooling was the right thing to do - because they'd always tell me why they were leaving brick and mortar school, and it made me feel justified. I did a good job at work, and often was thanked by parents and staff - which was a really good feeling.
There were also a myriad of challenges, not the least of which was trying to fit my old lifestyle together while being unavailable for 20 hours per week. My youngest was 7 this last school year, and she spent half of her days ignored and the other half being intensely tutored while I fielded questions from my other 3 who had also been ignored half the day. Spending time away from them was bad - they'd get in fights, watch who-knows-what on YouTube, not get their work done, sneak food from places both public and private (yes, I stash my chocolate - it's genetic, but that's another story). My house was a wreak with no hope of reprieve. Dinners were late and I would stay up sorting laundry. Budgeting never got done since we were in survival mode - which meant that we sometimes used a day's worth of my pay just paying for dinner and hoping that I wasn't just spinning my wheels. The godly practice of hospitality had to go by the wayside - there was no time for grocery shopping, cleaning or cooking.
The worst part of it is that I wasn't sure they were getting a quality education anymore. Sure, they were learning things, but their test scores were lower than usual (usual being 90th percentile and up) and I kept wondering why I didn't just put them in public school and get a "real job" that paid better. Our school had changed how they did things, with more testing, more online classes, more deadlines, more organization required - but it wasn't helping my students, just making it harder to spend time learning.
I sort of gritted my teeth all year.
Then my husband had a promising interview in St. Louis. We had to wait over a month, but we started making plans to move - selling things, looking into short term housing there, etc. My employer asked everyone if we'd be there for the following school year, and I said no, we'd most likely be in St. Louis...so she started interviewing for my replacement. I started planning on homeschooling - Missouri doesn't have a public online school that I could see, but they have very relaxed homeschool laws.
Despite a strong recommendation from a couple of V.P,s, one of the chiefs of the company had decided that my husband wasn't technical enough and he wanted an engineer (not in the job description at all). They didn't hire anyone for the position, and then they heard they were being bought out anyways, so here we are. I don't have my love/hate relationship with my job, because I have no job, and my husband still has his same job, which is good since the other job would have most likely disappeared once the French took over. As it is, his job is secure for at least six months, and he's planning on getting additional certifications to prove his qualifications for upper management. Life is relatively peaceful today.
It's been a whirlwind of a year. I feel like maybe I've grown as a person. We'll be homeschooling this year, and getting my kids back to the point they were at before mass chaos ensued. I'm hoping to tutor up to 10 hours a week, if I can ever find students. It would pay almost as well as my other job and not take as long. Making wedding cakes would pay better, but I don't know that many people getting married and have no talent for advertising... I've also signed up for InstaEDU (Chegg) tutors, so I can teach online...but I'm honestly intimidated by meeting people and teaching that way, so we will see how that goes. Maybe I will have to conquer my fears.
My muse moved away last week (muses can be friends, right?) and I'm going to have to make closer friends with someone here. I actually have a lot of friends here, but I can't say that I see many one on one or go places with them. My parents also moved - all the way back to Washington, just this month.
My last grandmother passed away recently, so I only have a grandpa left - and it occurs to me that this is my last chance to ask him anything before he goes home to Jesus. He turned 93 this week, so you'd think I'd have seriously considered that a little earlier. He's always been so active; it's hard to imagine death happening to anyone I love, even when it is obviously close to time. I've never lived close to them, so speaking on the phone is always a little stilted and inevitably conversation steers toward weather and children; safe topics for almost strangers. I'm quite certain if I'd ever been able to spend more time developing that relationship, we'd have more to say to one another.
So, hopefully this explains my lack of blogging lately. And the fact that I've only written one chapter on my newest book offering. One day, when I'm working in a lab (or maybe I'm a famous author ;) ) and my kids are all grown and moved off , I'm pretty sure I'll look back on this time of my life and remember how blessed I've been and wonder where the time went. I'm going to try my best to create good memories - because that is what I get to take with me.
Cheers,
April
I guess it all started about a year ago...
A good friend of mine had gone back to working. She was my muse, my main connection to the publishing world, since I saw her in person at lunch once a week (usually at my house, per kids), and I was lonely without her. My book was floundering and I was tired of editing what was a good, but not exceptional, novel.
On top of that, I was in the familiar position of not having as much money as I wanted. Despite the scripture telling me otherwise ("Be content with what you have, for He has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you..."), we have the unfortunate habit of spending everything we have and only saving for our 401k. About that time, I was offered a job at our virtual school, which I took since it was part time and from home. Also, after not working for 12 years, it was very exciting and gave me a feeling of accomplishment to make it through the interview.
I really liked many parts of this job. Suddenly we had enough money. For real. I thought it would never happen, but we paid off our credit card debt and paid for a vacation - a real one with a suite, put-put golf, and fireworks for New Year's. I paid for the older kids to go to camp this summer (something mommy guilt had always told me we ought to be able to afford, but couldn't). I used some of the money to buy new work clothes for the few times we'd get together.
My team at work consisted of some of the nicest women on the planet, and gave me a sense of community that I missed. They were all homeschooling moms like me, many with similar challenges of raising kids with special needs.
When I called new families for the school, I was happy to hear all of the ways in which homeschooling was the right thing to do - because they'd always tell me why they were leaving brick and mortar school, and it made me feel justified. I did a good job at work, and often was thanked by parents and staff - which was a really good feeling.
There were also a myriad of challenges, not the least of which was trying to fit my old lifestyle together while being unavailable for 20 hours per week. My youngest was 7 this last school year, and she spent half of her days ignored and the other half being intensely tutored while I fielded questions from my other 3 who had also been ignored half the day. Spending time away from them was bad - they'd get in fights, watch who-knows-what on YouTube, not get their work done, sneak food from places both public and private (yes, I stash my chocolate - it's genetic, but that's another story). My house was a wreak with no hope of reprieve. Dinners were late and I would stay up sorting laundry. Budgeting never got done since we were in survival mode - which meant that we sometimes used a day's worth of my pay just paying for dinner and hoping that I wasn't just spinning my wheels. The godly practice of hospitality had to go by the wayside - there was no time for grocery shopping, cleaning or cooking.
The worst part of it is that I wasn't sure they were getting a quality education anymore. Sure, they were learning things, but their test scores were lower than usual (usual being 90th percentile and up) and I kept wondering why I didn't just put them in public school and get a "real job" that paid better. Our school had changed how they did things, with more testing, more online classes, more deadlines, more organization required - but it wasn't helping my students, just making it harder to spend time learning.
I sort of gritted my teeth all year.
Then my husband had a promising interview in St. Louis. We had to wait over a month, but we started making plans to move - selling things, looking into short term housing there, etc. My employer asked everyone if we'd be there for the following school year, and I said no, we'd most likely be in St. Louis...so she started interviewing for my replacement. I started planning on homeschooling - Missouri doesn't have a public online school that I could see, but they have very relaxed homeschool laws.
Despite a strong recommendation from a couple of V.P,s, one of the chiefs of the company had decided that my husband wasn't technical enough and he wanted an engineer (not in the job description at all). They didn't hire anyone for the position, and then they heard they were being bought out anyways, so here we are. I don't have my love/hate relationship with my job, because I have no job, and my husband still has his same job, which is good since the other job would have most likely disappeared once the French took over. As it is, his job is secure for at least six months, and he's planning on getting additional certifications to prove his qualifications for upper management. Life is relatively peaceful today.
It's been a whirlwind of a year. I feel like maybe I've grown as a person. We'll be homeschooling this year, and getting my kids back to the point they were at before mass chaos ensued. I'm hoping to tutor up to 10 hours a week, if I can ever find students. It would pay almost as well as my other job and not take as long. Making wedding cakes would pay better, but I don't know that many people getting married and have no talent for advertising... I've also signed up for InstaEDU (Chegg) tutors, so I can teach online...but I'm honestly intimidated by meeting people and teaching that way, so we will see how that goes. Maybe I will have to conquer my fears.
My muse moved away last week (muses can be friends, right?) and I'm going to have to make closer friends with someone here. I actually have a lot of friends here, but I can't say that I see many one on one or go places with them. My parents also moved - all the way back to Washington, just this month.
My last grandmother passed away recently, so I only have a grandpa left - and it occurs to me that this is my last chance to ask him anything before he goes home to Jesus. He turned 93 this week, so you'd think I'd have seriously considered that a little earlier. He's always been so active; it's hard to imagine death happening to anyone I love, even when it is obviously close to time. I've never lived close to them, so speaking on the phone is always a little stilted and inevitably conversation steers toward weather and children; safe topics for almost strangers. I'm quite certain if I'd ever been able to spend more time developing that relationship, we'd have more to say to one another.
So, hopefully this explains my lack of blogging lately. And the fact that I've only written one chapter on my newest book offering. One day, when I'm working in a lab (or maybe I'm a famous author ;) ) and my kids are all grown and moved off , I'm pretty sure I'll look back on this time of my life and remember how blessed I've been and wonder where the time went. I'm going to try my best to create good memories - because that is what I get to take with me.
Cheers,
April
It's easy not to move on as a reader when blogger remembers the "blogs I follow" for me! I'm so glad you posted :) and enjoyed reading about your year - empathizing all the way! At the moment, tutoring is not an option for me, but in a few years maybe I can manage it - down here tutoring pays as much as teaching, maybe more in some cases.
ReplyDeleteFor your grandpa - in the last two years or so before my grandmother died, I began to call her once a week at the same day/time. I can't remember talking about her deeply, but I do know it made me feel nearer to her.